A Father Lost...

I've lost my father~
For whom I never knew~
There is no going back, Forever gone...

It's a burden to bear~
Always asking yourself~
What could I have done, for him to be there...

The Parents for whom God placed me~
A love they didn't take seriously~
A Mother takes his girls, never for him to see...

Does she ever realize the pain she's caused~
A justification for her, she tries to explain~
She can not give back, all that she taken away...

Thousands of miles in between~
A Daddy and his girls..."Is he looking for me?"
Growing up you are always thinking, Today, Maybe??

Then there comes a day when the sadness fades~
Replaced but not by Joy, by Hate...
A hardness within develops, A wall that just wont break...

Time Passes, Pain don't fade, birthdays come and go~
You never stop the wondering that just maybe..
Today might be that day you hear..

A voice on the other end of that telephone~
One you know you have never heard before~
He asks that infamous question, You've thought this out before...

Do you know who this is on the other end of this telephone?
It's your Dad...he quietly states, pure silence is all that's heard..
More then 20 years have passed, thinking about this every day..

Without much more of a thought..
The anger takes over, A Voice Lashes out...
A Biological father maybe, but never a Dad..

All those years, and it's left just like that...
Who is to blame...who can help heal that pain..
10 more years pass... still harboring shame...

When out of the corner, I hear a chime in...
A instant message has popped up, simply said..It's Dad
Don't turn this off, let me say what I need to say...

Sitting down to read as he slowly typed,
Was the start of a Father ~ Daughter night..
We chatted for hours... exchanged address..

Hand written letters came...so much explained~
Still thousands of miles separated us...
but it was more then I thought I'd ever have..

Finally I could say "I have a Dad"!
We enjoyed our talks, both on the phone and in chat...
I found the anger at him fading... the sad thing was..

It was being replaced by Anger at my Mom...
She had taken so much, when she chose to take him away...
Just can not understand...why she felt there was no other way...

For 10 years we conversed and kept in touch...
Always next year..we will personally get together.. Next year..
One year, next year never came...

One must always remember, there is no definite
of the tomorrows we have to make things happen,
When we need them today, don't let tomorrow never come...

Happy Fathers Day Daddy!  I love you!

Written by Kathy Agan Rodriguez